Carpe Diem

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We are truly who we are
when we let ourselves feel how we feel
when we feel it
† Julia.18.Taurus †

1 am. Wednesday Night. March 27th. 2000…14. 

The clock’s ticking away at a rate that seems faster than any calculation I could make…even with the past 7 hours of studying for my calc exam under my belt. 

But that’s irrelevant, because now I’ve moved onto my graphic work for one of the bagillion extracurricular actives I have undertaken. Note to self — do not tell people you’re a graphic designer as an undergrad unless you want to do slave graphic work for the rest of your life with little to no pay and ever changing deadlines.

Why am I writing this? I should be starting my 8 page research paper (rough draft due in two days woo), or studying for my calc exam some more (as if the past 7 hours weren’t enough), or designing the flier for the event one of my clubs is hosting this saturday (it’s gonna suck anyway…I should’t say that…it’ll probably be good…there’s free food), or applying for a job. I mean any and all of those options are mind-numbingly boring after a day of consistent studying. Here’s the part where I say the ever cliche “But that’s college” phrase.

Well it’s not college. Its just one tiny minuscule part of the entirety of a college experience. Its funny how something so broad and mutably different for each person can be so blandly categorized. People tell you a bunch of crap about college that may or may not be true for another person. But the same stereotypes about how you spend your time seem to surface over and over again. 

College isn’t even a thing. It’s just this weird buffer period before you’re supposed to “become an adult” and “begin your life” or “pioneer your career” or “find your husband/wife.” I’ve heard it all, as i’m sure anyone reading this has too. This is my life…in fact I have always been doing “my life” and I don’t really know what it means when i’m told that i’ll be starting it soon. 

In my opinion, your life begins when you start making decisions for yourself. Even little ones, like which color headband you should wear to match your hello kitty sneakers. Or which jungle gym you should play on at recess. There’s so many facets of my life that have helped me build up to what my life is today. 

I’m just sick and tired of everyone being so rigid with their views on what life should be, especially in college. It’s what you make it, and it should be fun.